To Be an Eccentric Writer

I am an eccentric writer.

To be an eccentric writer is to shut oneself inside a dark closet and write using only a flashlight to see.

To be an eccentric writer is to write while wearing a necktie paired with a T-shirt.

To be an eccentric writer is to write in front of a mirror so one can congratulate oneself when one has a brilliant idea.

To be an eccentric writer is to admire the dead flowers and insects on one's bookshelf.

To be an eccentric writer is to scribble down whatever comes into one's head, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with what one had intended to write.

To be an eccentric writer is to tell strangers what wonderful names they have.

To be an eccentric writer is to fall in love with every passerby for the shoes they wear, the way they walk, or even some indescribable quality of the look in their eyes.

To be an eccentric writer is to write down one's thoughts and feelings at midnight and remember nothing of what one wrote the next day.

To be an eccentric writer is to mourn the loss of a thought that disappeared like steam from a kettle into the air.

To be an eccentric writer is to carry a notebook with oneself wherever one goes.

To be an eccentric writer is to be active.

To be an eccentric writer is to be still.

To be an eccentric writer is to write hanging upside-down just to know what it feels like.

To be an eccentric writer is to immerse oneself in one's writing so deeply, so wholly, so purely, that one forgets one is writing at all.

And yet, behind all the whimsical beauty of everything I have described, at heart, I am an incorrigible perfectionist. Every line must be flawless, every word must be found immediately or I cannot move ahead. The magical, undaunted, imaginative sprite you've read of here only appears in perfect moments when the mood and environment are exactly right, and she does not stay for long. Be not deceived, muses are not lovely, divine creatures who grant one creative ability on command. In fact, they more closely resemble swamp goblins than woodland fairies. They are unruly, belligerent things that must be chased down and dragged back home by the ears. But fortunately, it is indeed possible to capture a muse in such a way. However, it takes patience. Muses can hear you coming, so you must track them with the utmost stealth before you can lure them into the open and stuff them into a potato sack.

Really, to be a writer of any kind is to stare at a blank page and think about all the things one would rather be doing instead of slowly coming to the realization that one is an absolute failure with no creative ability whatsoever. And then, perhaps, if one has the time, cry a little. No, that's not really true. The truth is, if you are a writer, you are automatically not a failure. This will be discussed in a future post. But it is true that no writer is an effortless poet who spends their days in a romantic garret, writing full novels in a matter of days that will doubtless heal the world with their sheer beauty and excellence.

However, if you like the idea of being an eccentric writer, know that I have, in fact, done every single one of the things listed above (including telling my reflection that I'm brilliant). Yes, I have even achieved the coveted feeling of forgetting that I am writing at all. In the following posts, I will discuss how I am gaining power over my muse, and share advice that may be valuable to others seeking to do the same.

Thank you for joining me on this little adventure, and I hope to see you very soon.